Saturday, February 6, 2010

President Obama communicates with dead people....

While conservatives mock our president for devoting a speech to a corpse man (Mr. President allegedly was reading a speech about a "corpsman" - the White House did not confirm or deny it at this point in time), Hyphenated American could not fail to notice a peculiar pattern in Obama's speeches. The readers must be warned that this is not the first time that president Obama is talking about the dead people and his special relationship with them. Back in 2008, he made a speech on Memorial Day and had this to share: "On this Memorial Day, as our nation honors its unbroken line of fallen heroes -- and I see many of them in the audience here today -- our sense of patriotism is particularly strong."
Hyphenated American wants to ask an obvious question - is there more here than meets the eye? Could it be that president Obama is a member of an occult, which regularly speaks to the dead people? It's well known that some African tribes indeed worship the dead, and claim to have a special relationship with their deceased relatives. And it is well-known that Obama's father was an African, and that Obama himself was very close spiritually to his father - which might explain how the president could write a book analyzing the dreams of his father - in spite of the fact that Obama had practically no physical contact with him from the early childhood. So tell me, how could he know the dreams of his dead father that he hardly knew?

Of course, a simpler explanation would be that Barack Obama is a moron, and he has no f*cking idea what he is reading on the teleprompter (both times, the references to the death people were written by Obama's speechwriters). Personally, I believe that Obama is one of the greatest minds that ever wondered the Earth, so I am forced to abandon the Occam's razor and conclude that Obama indeed talks with the dead. This also explains why dead people tend to vote for Obama - he is the only politician who is open-minded enough to appeal to this disenfranchised community.

What's even more fascinating, is that this line of reasoning illuminates why Obama moved from sunny Hawaii to cold and gloomy Chicago. The reader should not overlook the fact that Chicago was in the forefront of the national civil rights movement to grant dead people the right to vote since the 1950ies.

In reality, the entire life of president Obama will be seen in a very different light by the future historians, when they accommodate his deep and very fulfilling relationship with dead people.

So, what should the Obama’s contemporaries feel now? I believe that as Americans, as patriots, we should be proud that USA is the first nation that was graced by God to elect a leader who could communicate with the dead people. And which is why I cannot find the words more appropriate to repeat than those of Michele Obama: "For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm really proud of my country."

No comments: