Friday, February 19, 2010

The conclusions are obvious...

The situation with Iranian nuclear research would be extremely funny, if it were not so dangerous. Back in 2007, the liberal moles in the CIA leaked a report, which claimed that Iran stopped all the work to produce nuclear weapons. Here is how ABCnews described  it: "In a stunning reversal of Bush administration conventional wisdom, a new assessment by U.S. intelligence agencies concludes Iran shelved its nuclear weapons program over four years ago."

The NIE report specifically stated: "We judge with high confidence that in fall 2003, Tehran halted its nuclear weapons program". The ABC triumphantly declared that "The new intelligence report could create an embarrassing situation for the United States as it pushes for a third United Nations resolution against Iran for its nuclear activities." So, who is embarrassed now, assholes?

In 2010, Iran is in the final stages of developing a nuclear bomb, and amazingly the liberals still cannot believe it. On February 11th, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad claimed that "Iran has produced its first batch of uranium enriched to a higher level, saying his country will not be bullied by the West into curtailing its nuclear program a day after the  the U.S. imposed new sanctions." The pygmy also added "I want to announce with a loud voice here that the first package of 20 percent fuel was produced and provided to the scientists." And then he whispered "What else can I possibly say or do to make my intentions obvious to the liberals? These guys are driving me nuts! That does it - when we finish bulding the nukes - we will detonate them in Tel Aviv and Jerusalem."

On the very same day, the dimwitted Press Secretary Baghdad Bob Washington Bob persisted in refusing to recognize the obvious and declared  "We do not believe they have the capability to enrich to the degree they say they are enriching."

A few days later, even the International Atomic Energy Agency could not deny that Obama's administration was full of sh*t and reported that Iran had hit 19.8 percent enrichment on two days last week.

The liberal dimwits in the State Department studied the IAEA report, analyzed the situation and came up with an even dumber statement: "I think the conclusions of the report are consistent with what the secretary was saying in the region this week. [How so?] We have ongoing concerns about Iran's activities. [I am feeling safer already!] We cannot explain why it refuses to come to the table and engage constructively to answer the questions that have been raised, and you have to draw some conclusions from that."

Indeed it is very tempting to follow the State's advice and draw some inescapable conclusions from the fact that it cannot explain Iranian refusal to give up the nuclear program. Everyone in the world knows that Iran is building nuclear bombs, and only the State officials are apparently puzzled about Iran's intentions - and are now asking us to explain why they are puzzled.

Let me be clear on this one - The State Department is puzzled because it is filled with imbeciles who cannot chew gum and fart at the same time.

Hey, State Department - is this explanation good enough for you?


The Keeper Of Odd Knowledge (KOOK) said...

great job my friend Great Job.

Hyphenated American said...


Thanks a lot for the feedback. It's the replies like yours that keep me going.

BTW, I've re-written this article a little bit, now it's even better. Please, take another look at it. I think it's moderately funny.