Saturday, May 15, 2010

Reading the left-wing articles #2

While most Americans are starting to see the light and are rejecting the left-wing ideology, the liberal fundamentalists continue to insist that it's a mere trend, which will soon subside (they don't say when though). Charles M. Blow [amazingly, this is not a pseudonym], a New York Slimes journalist, delivers a blunt re-assertion that liberals should not be troubled with recent polls and lost elections, and that leftism is still the future of this nation no matter what American people think.

In spite of all evidence of failure of liberalism across the globe, Charlie believes that "the right may win the day, but the left will win the age. That’s because the right is running an intellectually bereft campaign of desperation and disenchantment, amplified by a recession." He ends his article with a powerful message: "Great Recessions don’t last. Great ideas do." In other words, liberalism is not dead, it's just resting. Or, if I may say so - when American people tried to return Obama's brain dead liberalism back to the store, the left instead chose to argue that liberalism was alive and well - in fact it was simply stunned by the right-wing shouts and would be awake any moment.

This of course reminded me of an old sketch by Monty Python (check the link to see this amazing episode) about a customer who was trying to return deceased liberalism a dead parrot back to the store:

C: I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

O: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

C: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

O: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

C: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

O: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

C: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

O: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

C: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up!

(shouting at the cage)

'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...(owner hits the cage)

O: There, he moved!

C: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

O: I never!!

C: Yes, you did!

O: I never, never did anything...

C: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!!
Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

C: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

O: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

C: STUNNED?!?

O: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

C: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

O: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

C: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

O: The Norwegian Blue prefers kippin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

C: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

O: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

C: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

O: No no! 'E's pining!

C: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker!

'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies!

'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig!

'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!!

THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

3 comments:

Gorges Smythe said...

What a pity that more American liberals aren’t ex-parrots (expatriates).

Teresa said...

Yes, we need more ex-liberals in America.

I second Gorge's comment.

Silverfiddle said...

I was stationed with a guy named Larry Blow. He was neither Black nor liberal. In America we have a little of everything...

I agree with you that liberals' imperviousness to world-wide evidence is stunning.

Where in the world is the liberal statist model working?