Sunday, January 18, 2009

A dialogue with imaginary liberal....

I chose to debate an imaginary liberal for the obvious reasons - it's much easier to point to the errors in his thinking. Note that an imaginary liberal is not necessarily a straw man - since I try to preserve liberal arguments in their undiluted pure shape and form (sobbing and tears are added for purely theatrical effects and can be ignored). The true reason is much simpler - a real liberal normally tries to deflect the questions, misdirect the debate, and is quite unresponsive to actual arguments. An imaginary liberal is actual a real liberal plus honesty, integrity and ability/desire to stay on the subject. Anyway, here it goes.

Hyphenated-American (with a serious expression on his face): President Obama and liberal establishment propose a nearly trillion dollar spending bill. They claim it will slow down or even reverse the recession. Can you explain the reasoning?

Imaginary Liberal (enthusiastically): Yes, this is a very good question. Thanks for giving me an opportunity to explain our progressive views. President Obama's bill will jump start our country by injecting large amounts of money into the economy. Government spending will trickle down through economy, increase demand, and thus promote employment, raise real wages and defeat the recession.

Hyphenated-American (enthusiastically): In other words, what American economy needs right now is a drastic increase in spending and consumption. Correct?

Imaginary Liberal (with a look of intellectual superiority): That is essentially correct. You are very perseptive, my unenlightenned friend.

Hyphenated-American (with a nice smile): So basically, the current recession is caused by the US consumers who stopped spending money, and the federal government is now filling the gap due to this lack of spending.

Imaginary Liberal (with a look of intellectual superiority): You are correct. All the years of evil hitler-bush regime made people very suspicious of the US government and the US corporations, and effectively no one trusts anyone anymore, and the the demand for goods is down. When that happens, the economy slows down. This is how we got into this recession.

Hyphenated-American (with a nice smile): But theoretically, if people start trusting the government and the business again and start spending money, then this recession will be over. Correct?

Imaginary Liberal (with a look of intellectual superiority): Correct. This is what president Obama is trying to achieve with his policy. I wonder if I am slowly turning you into a liberal...

Hyphenated-American (with a nice smile): Yes, sure I am turning into a liberal. Do you think it's fair to say that president Obama is one of the most trusted figures in our country?

Imaginary Liberal (visibly pleased): Absolutely. Just recently there was a poll that said that 75% of Americans trusted president Obama. In fact, I have no doubt that majority of Americans are glad that the bad days are over, and they can finally trust their president. Barack Obama brings hope and change to Washington DC. He inspires people. Obama's presidency is a monumental achievement of American people. We know he is one of us, he will lead us to prosperity. There is nothing we cannot do now, with proper leadership of our Dear Leader, Barack Obama. Imaginary Liberal's eyes visibly tear up. He is starting to sob uncontrollably.

Hyphenated-American (with a nice smile): No doubt. Do you believe that Obama's public announcements have a very large influence of what people think?

Imaginary Liberal (still in tears): Yes! American people respond very well to Obama's message of hope and change. They surely trust him. The world trusts him.

Hyphenated-American (fakes a puzzled expression): President Obama is telling the American public that our economy is in shambles, that we may be on the brink of a Great Depression. So, the people who trust him, which is a large percentage of the US population, indeed cut their spending because of his predictions. Is it fair to say?

Imaginary Liberal (stops sobbing): Well, but the US economy is in bad shape, people don't spend the money...

Hyphenated-American (fakes a puzzled expression): But it is fair to say that if Obama were to persuade American people that the US economy is doing well, then they would start spending, the recession would be over, and there would be no need for the increase in the government spending. Correct?

Imaginary Liberal (feeling that the conversation is taking a strange turn): I think it's a fair assessment. I don't see how it is relevant though.

Hyphenated-American (drops the fake expression of puzzlement): So, when Obama claims that US economy is in horrible shape, and things will get much worse, he is for all intents and purposes actively and efficiently undermining the US economy. This is particularly true given his high rating among the American people. If he were to speak well about the US economy, the demand would rebound and the need for extra government spending would drop. Correct?

Imaginary Liberal (on the defensive): Well, based on logic, what you are saying seems correct. I would have to think about it.

Hyphenated-American (running on all cylinders): On one side, Obama is proposing a humongous government spending, which is supposed to raise demand. On the other side, Obama is trying to suppress private consumption and private demand with his statements. Correct?

Imaginary Liberal (on the defensive): Yes, it would be appear to be so.

Hyphenated-American (running on all cylinders): So let me propose two hypothesis here. One - Obama does not believe his spending bill will improve the US economy, and he is not actually talking down the economy - he is simply trying to diminish the expectations for his first term in office. Second - Obama does believe that more spending is good for the economy, but he believes that government spending is more beneficial to his party than private spending. If the kickbacks to Obama and DNC will be only 0.1% of his new spending bill - still, they will enjoy a campaign contribution of ONE BILLION DOLLARS annually. Do you think this sounds like a pretty good explanation for his activity?

Imaginary Liberal (meekly): But bush-hitler destroyed the economy, not Obama. You know, Halliburton, torture, Iraq war, Enron.

Hyphenated-American (running on all cylinders): Please stop spouting slogan for a minute and think about Obama's actions. Don't turn Obama into an idol, think about his actions, be critical. Don't take his words at face value. Question his authority. Don't be afraid to disagree with him. Dissent is patriotic! You clearly see a contradition in Obama's ideas and speeches. How can you explain that?

Imaginary Liberal (meekly): But bush-hitler lied us into war for Haliburton and 9/11 was an inside job.
Imaginary Liberal (starts crying- but this time these are not tears of joy): You are en evil racist bigoted person, you promote hate and disagreement. I don't want to listen to you any more. Please, leave me alone. I need to pray to Lord Obama and ask forgiveness for listening to all the bad things you said about Him. I don't want to get into trouble with Higher Authorities...


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